What scares me?

What ifs don’t scare me.
Neither do what would be or what could have been.
I don’t live my life by the fear of dying.
Fuck, we’re all going to die.
I’m not afraid of the weather, of water, or of any other element that stands before me.
I’ve stood in the crashing waves of the ocean knowing what will be will be.
It is what it is…
I’m not afraid to cry.
Oh, I walk away.
I’ll walk, but I’ll never run.
Violence is never the answer…
but put my loved ones at risk, and we’ll see what happens.
I’m not afraid of being a gentleman.
I’m never afraid to tell someone I love them…
and I’m never afraid to forgive someone.
We all fuck good shit up.
I’m the captain of that lost ship at sea.
I’m not afraid of anger, sadness, or my emotions.
I’m not afraid of letting go.

So, what am I afraid of?

I’m afraid that I’ll disappoint my children.
I grew up disappointed in my father.
I’ve forgiven him too.
I’m afraid of never trying.
Of never giving in to my darker side.
Of never looking off into the distance.
I’m afraid that I’ll miss the perfect wave…
or the perfect picture.
I’m afraid of losing the love of my life.
More than anything
on many mornings
on a few rare days
I’m afraid of losing you…

A letter to me…