An Unwritten Goodbye Letter

Dear ……, I can’t apologize for the crippling  depression that held me under water. I can’t apologize even though I want to. The thing is we both went through  changes, depression changed me and the bitterness of what you wanted and want we had changed you. You never apologized to me and truthfully I didn’t…

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Miles

Up all night writing love letters to someone I don’t even resemble anymore Once thinking you and all of this was an albatross yolked in shame Waking up to see a smile I never thought I’d wear  The rain has a way of making everything make sense Even if love fades faster than the smell…

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An old dollar bill

Standing in the middle of a bridge I should have burned a long ago I watch the water running swiftly below My heart is torn and twisted like an old dollar bill The wind sings a soft melody that forces my mind to fall back to a time when I wondered who could take a…

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Questioning Everything

I was driving back into the city tonight Portland’s skylight has always captured my heart Trampled by Turtles’ song “Midnight on the Interstate” came on and my mind shifted to a year ago I was so unsure about myself About the woman I was with and about probably every fucking thing that could possibly cross…

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4am

It’s 4 am and it must be another night I didn’t sleep I can hear the street sweeper humming by my window as the street lamps gaze causes a faint silhouette of images that seem to dance outside my window Ghostly visitors laughing at my inability to catch even the slightest amount of rest from…

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Happy Thoughts

Sometimes I think of you and a quiet calm falls across my heart like a warm blanket Filling the holes left behind by years of self abuse and neglect It’s like I’m watching you walk along the beach again for the first time collecting stones and shells Some days I sit wishing those days were…

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A letter to my future partner

I wish I could tell you I could help heal your heart The truth is I’m just as broken Maybe together we could help guide each other on a journey of healing Maybe it’s just better I admire you from afar In different times or in a different life we could be so much more…

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Bar Confessions

Goodbyes echo like sirens I can count every expression in the mirror behind every bottle placed on the shelf of the bar but I still can’t forget your face when I said goodbye One day I’ll leave the earth I’m able to get past all my sins But that expression will haunt me in my…

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Drifted, far away…

The drip from the sink with it’s slow moving drum beat The rain outside on the streets and the cars chasing by to ad to the rhythmic barrage of music filling my mind full of memories and my eyes full of tears Another Sunday morning hitting me like that ton of unread books sitting in…

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The importance of goodbye

There will always be certain places Moments in times like fragmented memories where I think of you Often times fondly Other times sadly and very rarely angry because of the love you’ve thrown away But behind all the emotions I remain grateful for the time we spent together  These lessons learns helped me understand myself…

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