I Stand Tall

Laying in bed early morning

With thoughts of Sullivan Street on my head

Like a weight pounding it takes me back

Wishing for a better yesterday serves no real purpose 

Drowning in a sea of regret

After a night of worry and suspicion 

It’s hard to move paralyzed to my sheets

A slow death like freezing snow on Sunday morning 

Almost being real

Almost being alive

Almost really caring

She almost everything real, alive, and what I care about

Almost 

Almost everything 

Across the lake we sat fishing as children

Now I look back it’s all changed

It has all changed

Shadows fall like kindness as the sun pushes softly through my window

I force myself up with my sun kissed face

Burning my eyes as I drink my coffee

Sitting there wondering if it’s real or just another dream

Fallen knees don’t solve my problems, my knees are too skinned

 So out the door and into another day

Wondering where I’ll be led

Wondering what’s real and what’s the dream

Soon I won’t be here to come around

That makes me wonder if it’s all worth it

The pain

The wondering

Then I pull my coat tight and push through hiding it from everyone

No one chases after me

There is no one to chase after me

I reach for a hand to help guide me

There are no footsteps in the sand for me

and I’m confident that I don’t need them so I stand tall