What are soul mates?
A common definition for soul mate is:
– soul mate – noun – A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet — a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. –
But what are they? Who are they? Are we ever really able to meet and fall madly for someone in a way that makes all other people and relationships we’ve had in the past seem like a failed attempt at living life to its fullest? Yes…
If you’ve read my blog at all then you know at one time in my life I was a hard core atheist, militant almost. If you had asked me a year ago about soul mates, or any other subject to do with the spiritual I’d laughed at you. Over the past year many things have happened to turn my life around. All of them leading up to a chance encounter on Twitter where I sent my phone number to someone, not because I wanted to date her, but because she seemed so sad that I reached out to lend a shoulder to cry on. I give my number to a lot of people. It’s scary to think about it sometimes. I have drug addicts calling me at 3 AM needed someone to talk them down. My drunken friends call me when they’ve sent a text to an ex (which we may have, allegedly, all done). I always figured it was my station in life to be alone and just help people. I am a Buddhist. I want everyone to be happy. The only thing I really hate is seeing people sad. So I reached out to her.
My heart has taken its own beating over the past couple of years. More than I’ll ever even say here (much more actually), and in many ways reaching out to this woman helped to heal my broken heart in ways I never seen coming.
We connected immediately. I’m a hopeless romantic, but have still never made a connection this quickly. Here recently I even swore off falling in love. I’ve turned down many wonderful and beautiful women just because I’d felt so jaded and angry at my own heart. On top of that, because I centered my own self worth on the love of someone else for so long my self-esteem had taken a major dunk in the deep end of the pool and my heart couldn’t swim.
But what about this whole soul mate bull? How did it fit with me?
I loved my ex-wife every day of every year we were married. Even with that when I look back I realize that we never really made a strong connection. I’ve often wondered if I was capable of making these types of connections. I fall in love easy and I fall in love with everyone who seems to touch me in some way. But this… this woman… This woman was different. Her sadness touched my sadness. My inner demons seemed to take a break and time really seemed to move slower. (I think I threw up a little there too, moving on…)
How is this possible? What the hell am I thinking?
There I was though. Dumbstruck at the possibility that I had met someone who touched me in a way I never thought possible. A soul mate though? Come on? Really?
Yes… I can’t explain it in any other way except by calling her a soul mate.
Is she the woman I’ll spend the rest of my life with? I don’t know. It’s a wonderful idea to explore. It’s way too early for that. Right now we’re just two souls walking next to the surf holding hands.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. On most days it seems more like wearing my broken heart on my sleeve though. We take chances. We get hurt. We heal. We learn. We move forward.
I remember sitting up all night with my friend Eddie yeas ago. He had just come out to me, not that I didn’t already know, and we were discussing soul mates. I thought it was an enchanting idea, but would have never thought I’d fall for the hype. Yet here I am…
I think we’re capable of making many different connections with people. On many levels I look back and see other people who have really touched me. Armed with this new belief in soul mates I started wondering if maybe these close friends were other soul mates.
My advice on this? Take chances on love. Open up to people. Take chances with your heart. I have. I’ve learned so much from all the women I’ve met over the past few months since I started dating again. They’ve all led me to chance encounter on Twitter, and a woman who wasn’t the woman I would have thought ideal for me. Is she ideal? Who knows? Honestly! I keep growing and learning and becoming this different and hopefully better person every day. She’s added to that. She helps me draw connections to others just from what I’ve learned from meeting her.
Soul mates? Yeah… Just believe!
Throw yourself into the ocean of your mind and swim with the idea.