On walking away

One night in early November I decided to go for a walk
It wasn’t uncommon for me to set out, but it was cold

I walked for hours looking at stars, and thinking about
all the things we’ve done and seen together

The cold crisp air cut sharply into my lungs,
and as the fog started to settle in
the clouds that hung over my brain started to fade

My heart was suddenly burdened with the painful truth
that you were never really mine, that you would always
run back to him, even though he would continually hurt you,
and that no matter how much I wish you really loved me back
I was now and always would be alone

Even sitting next to you…

So I pulled my jacket tight, and adjusted my hat
Much like a sailor adjusting his sails on the open ocean,
and I braced myself to the harsh reality of our relationship,
as if I was bracing the harsh drowning waves of the angry
unforgiving ocean

As I walked towards home I was suddenly relieved
I smiled and came to a single realization

It was time to walk away

not because I wanted to, but because it’s best for my heart

and for my happiness…

So I walked home, picked up the phone, and then slammed it down

Instead I poured a glass of wine

I didn’t matter anyway, so why waste my energy explaining why I was letting go

When you had never held on in the first place…