My life all too often is a whirlwind.
The sad part? It doesn’t have to be. I choose my paths. My choices mold who I am and my future. When I choose to cultivate good or bad karma I make a conscious decision to do what’s right or what’s wrong. I’ve made so many bad decisions in my life. I’ve also made many good ones. I’d like to think I’ve spent more time cultivating good karma. When dealing with my ex-wife it doesn’t seem so. As much as everyone tells me not to I try to be kind to her. It’s really hard for me sometimes. I don’t need to go into the reasons why. She and I (and a couple of people I’m close to) know why. My point? Every situation gives you the opportunity to cultivate karma, good or bad.
As a Buddhist I mediate. Not as much as I should (sometimes I really think I’m the worst Buddhist ever), but at least twice a day I meditate, and I try to keep mindful of what I do throughout the day. My emotions get the best of me sometimes. Much too often. Yes I’m a Buddhist, but I also have autism. Sometimes I’m irrational and act out of emotion instead of really putting the thought into what I’m doing. This really hit me hard this weekend with the one woman I’ve ever really felt was my soul mate. I let all the stress and frustration with my ex get to me, all the hardship my kids are going through, and all of my current financial issues etc cloud my judgement. I actually told her we shouldn’t see each other. Not a wise choice by any means. She’s really so much closer to my soul than I’m willing to admit,well until just now. Fortunately besides being the most beautiful woman I know she’s also very forgiving. I hurt her though. That’s my crown of thorns. I need to do what I can to repair that. If you really have a chance to be happy learn from me, and don’t screw it up because of your fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
I have several mantras I use regularly.
One of them simply says: “I can let go of my past because I deserve a beautiful future.”
I don’t always believe it but I still say it. I say this one every morning and every night.
Don’t let your horrible past obscure your beautiful future.
Chances are you’ve been treated like crap by someone. Someone has hurt you. All too often we hold onto these emotions, and then we base all of our new relationships on these other people. This is based on the attachment to the emotions we have for the pain they’ve caused us. When you do this you cheat yourself from so many beautiful and fantastic experiences. There are so many people out there who are willing to love you unconditionally if you’ll just open up to them.
Let it go…
Letting go is a very Buddhist belief. It does seem hard at first. You can do it. Meditation is your guide. Yoga can help as well. Your biggest obstacle is getting into your own head. Once you get in there you can kick out all those demons and bad thoughts that keep you from loving to your fullest. When all of your self doubt is gone you find that you see love everywhere and in everything.
Find a meditation teacher, a Buddhist temple, a yoga class, or just take a few minutes out every day to really cultivate some good karma by meditating or praying on love and on being love. If you have any questions or aren’t sure where to turn to for help email me. I answer all emails. You can find that in my “about” area.
Find time to find you. Fall in love with you, and falling in love with someone else is easy. I’m a true hopeless romantic. Even if I’ve been jaded from my past I believe in true love. Love that’s pure and unconditional. You should too. You deserve to be happy.
Be happy.
Let go of pain and find love!
Throw yourself into the ocean of your mind and swim with the idea.
Follow me on Twitter. You might be disappointed because I am a different kind of Buddhist, but I always have something to say.
@tanisjustice
