My Dearest One

Motionless I lay silently on the floor as she played piano across the room

Note by note a stream of endless daydreams pass as if my mind were a kaleidoscope, and the memory of another woman was the shattered glass inside

The music stops with a sudden crash as though she read my thoughts and they crushed her

Softly and quietly she flows across the room as if she were hovering on a cloud and my thoughts were the wind that carried her

I reach for her hand
She takes mine
So soft, so gentle
Then she moves to join me on the floor

No words are spoken
They never need to be
She knows me and I know her

Our lips navigate towards one another like two lost souls coming together after a thousand years of separation

Our bodies meet as two new worlds begging to be explored

So we explore

Her soft hands move slowly along my neck and face
My hands find themselves exploring her waist and thighs
Our lips still locked in an eternal struggle, reaching deeply into each other’s heart

The thoughts of the other woman fade quickly as my love pours deeper into my lover
Motion after motion the struggle our passion escapes and we join like the pieces of a puzzle

Upon the ultimate climax we fall deeply into each other’s arms

Waiting for one or the other to let go we hold on

We hold close

Never ending is the story of our love
Never ending are the unspoken words
Never ending until the ends comes

And the end always comes

As she walks away I feel alone, empty
The music starts as if it had never ended and she plays on

Note by note

My thoughts again turn to daydreams
They are now of her, my love

My dearest one

These steps

Every breath takes me one step farther from you
Every sigh and every whisper from my heart move me one step closer

To forgetting the pain

Every step as I walk away leads me down the path of letting go
Every path I walk and every avenue I visit puts distance between us

And one step away from your memory

These are the steps I take
These are the steps I take

Nothing can ever be so wrong
Nothing could ever be so perfect

Knowing I’m better off without you
Knowing you are better off without me

Every step I take leads me to regret
Every step I take leads me to your face

I see it everywhere
I see you everywhere

These are the steps I take

They lead me in circles

They always lead me back to you


I had a dream that I was surrounded by butterflies
They covered everything around me like a blanket through the darkest night
As they flew around me I watched in child like wonder
Excitement filled every aspect of my soul

And then they flew away

Carrying with them a vision I had never seen

When the butterflies were gone I found new light and a new vision

I found you standing in the clearing of my mind


Knowing you’ll never be mine
Knowing you never really cared
Knowing my heart is mine to control
Knowing my life isn’t

Fate, kismet, and serendipity collide into a rainbow of hatful desire
And I am once again walking alone

I know you
Better than anyone could

And you know me

Holding hands
Touching lips
Souls engaged in a game of lustful yearning

Holding you
You hold back

So far away

Knowing you was never knowing myself
So far away from myself

As I was lost in an idea created when Fate, kismet, and serendipity collided into a rainbow of hatful desire

Now I walk alone
As I walk away

Knowing the truth

We Dance

We dance in open air in the corners of my mind
Our hearts beat in unison as great drums beating from tribes afar

We can’t be together
We can’t be apart

We dance in open fields of wind blown grass
Our hearts open wide to the many possibilities of where the universe will carry us

We can’t be together
We can’t be apart

We dance with the idea of being one, of walking the isle
Our hearts aren’t our own to control, so we won’t

We can’t be together
We can’t be apart

We dance because it’s all we have
In our hearts and minds

We dance


I woke up with new eyes today
The same blue eyes have sat on opposites sides of my nose from birth

But when I woke up I seen the world differently

I walked in such painful strides before
Overlooking signs and appocoliptic visions of an end so near

Yet I ran so far from myself to hide

This Wednesday was no different from any other Wednesday
I woke up, I had coffee, and I read

But something changed when I though about the world around me and the people I loved

And the people who love me

Moving forward is often in the feat of gods
Normal men are rarely forced to trash against the moving streams of the universe

Yet here I am, struggling against my own thoughts and my own heart

There were one set of footprints in the sand
When I turned to ask why I was the only one standing there

In the end we are all alone

It’s the time I between birth and death that we discover
Finding pieces of ourselves and who we are

By the people we meet and the people we love

I am who I am because of the people I’ve met on my journey
We all are, and we are all part of one another


Lessons are often hard learned
The teachers of these lessons are often those we hold dearest

Hold everyone dear and love all

In the end your heart will break
In the end everyone will leave you

But until that end believe that love is all around you

Even in signs and appocoliptic visions


Out of Eden

I look for answers everywhere
I see the faces of the uncaring

They always have answers for unasked questions

The tragedy comes from the distance between our heart and head
It’s the difference from picking from the tree of knowledge or choosing to be ignorant in the bliss of not knowing

There are some things I’d rather not know

I walked next to an angel
An angel who didn’t see she was Devine

Lost and broken since her own fall from heaven

There was always something painful in her eyes
Somehow she punished herself every time she smiled

It’s a smile that sets so many hearts on fire

I would have happily walked in the bliss of ignorance
But she offered me a fruit from the tree of knowledge

I woke up in a reality all to familiar to my life

My angel took my hand and we walked quietly
A path I hadn’t seen before but knew all the same

It was seasoned with darkness and painful memories

She kissed me soft and it hung to my lips like the morning dew
Then she pushed me away to cry

She was always pushing me away

There was no time for me
No time for what could have been

Then she led me out of Eden