Another goodbye

Your soft blonde hair tickles my shoulder

As you get up to leave

Rising so early has become second nature

We have nowhere to go, not for hours

so you smile and return to my side

Our time is spent with quiet jokes and coffee

Yoga poses and talk about skating

That smile…

It’s the first time in so long

that we haven’t hated each other

Hate is all we see sometimes

When I see you

and you see me

We fill a void

and empty place

where there was once a heart

Maybe even love

Perhaps

but not that remains is an empty shell

and the pending arrival

Of another goodbye…

Locked in his closet

He keeps her hidden in a closet

Ashamed of the woman she is

Ashamed his family will see

How she shines

He owns her heart and mistreats her spirits

He takes for granted all the beautiful things she becomes

and she becomes so many

Each soul a new voice

When she wakes she pauses to light her cigarette

Slowly she takes a drag as she looks in the mirror

but which face does she see?

Each face a new smile

She shines like a million stars

Falling from a dark heaven

Burning out on the bullshit he feeds her

He doesn’t love her, he want to own her

He keeps her from loving

Where love is found

Love also passes by

He laughs at her losses

Keeping her hidden in a closet

Where he secretly laughs

While she searches for truth

As she walks slowly on the ocean gathering the lost children of the Ent

IMG_1489.JPG

Forever…

The music is loud

but beautiful

Hozier’s voice carries my memory across the stars

and back to that one happy moment with you

I know it’s you I see

Dancing

Smiling

not with him

Never with him

He just sits there

His gaze unapproving

He doesn’t even smile while your happiness glows

and you are glowing like the sun

I remember

Everything

In perfect detail

Your head in my lap

Beer in hand

the music was playing soft and quiet so we could talk

but we never talked

Our lips were busy

but we never talked

So long ago

So many days have past since I’ve seen you

Really seen you

and now from across the room there you are

dancing

smiling

but not with me

I know it’s for me though

Out of Eden was playing then too

I see that memory in your smile

I feel it too

So long ago

I’m much happier now without you

but you’ll always be in my memory

and out of my life

Forever…

(for Sasha)

That wasn’t my journey

This is not my journey, he said

Not where I’m supposed to be
Where I belong…

Walking nights

Aimless

Unfathomable comfort in not knowing

yet uncomfortable enough to admit he knows

the truth

Surrendering to the gravity of where he belongs

but where? That’s still the question

It just isn’t here

Not in this time and space

Maybe nowhere in this lifetime

Maybe tomorrow
but not now

I need to keep myself away

from you

I need to keep you away

from me

I need to keep myself away

away

away from myself

Myself

Who am I?

No self

Where do I belong?

No where

I am here.

Here is where I belong

As for who I am?

I am always the second choice.

The option she never chooses.

She never will

This is not my journey, he said

Not where I’m supposed to be
Where I belong…

I belong nowhere

to no one

on the edge of the rings of Saturn

in the heart of the moon

Walking in the memories of another life

That wasn’t my journey

IMG_1428.JPG

Photo by the beautiful Trisha Gates

Without You

Rain

Falling hard

Cold

Pure

Alive

My soul

My soul cries out

To you

You

Alive

Pure

Cold

You are so cold

Your soul

Empty

So empty

Your soul cries out

to me

to my soul

I can not hear you

I don’t want to hear you

I won’t hear you

Anymore

Our connection is broken

You’ve damaged us

It

too much

too far

So far gone

So far away

So far

away from me

away from what we were

and we’ll never return

Twitter and Instagram: @tanisjustice

And my soul is better off without you…

IMG_1391.JPG